i have spider leg eyelashes and 
once in a nail salon, a chinese lady grabbed them
with manicured, callused fingers and asked me
if she could have them.

they are amplified by 3 dollar mascara 
i steal from the pharmacy and once
a man wearing a collared blue shirt
and a little security tag grabbed my arm
and my heart dropped to my stomach and 
even the marrow in my bones was quivering with fear.
he told me that i had forgotten my bag in the make up aisle
and he gave me a little smile and a wave goodbye.

the mascara gets tangled in headphones and gum wrappers
and green and white contact containers and there is always
a stripe of curved black kohl, like dna that stains the inside of my bag
because i forget things sometimes and i forget to close my mascara
and my door and my mouth.

i used to wear pink lipstick every day
but then a friend (or at least i thought she was one)
took a picture of me and i saw my heart (attack)
lips looked diseased so now i wear a vicious, gossipy red.

someone once told me i had lady bug eyes and i think
think the spiders are creeping into my lungs. i bleed blue
and the veins on my wrists are always, always lipstick red.